Say Cheese: Neerad Pandharipande

The other day, I found myself in the middle of an impromptu group photo session in my college. As I stood there, a random thought entered my mind with the simplistic audacity of a pesky child. Why do I smile like that for a photograph? Do I want the world to think that I always have that expression on my face? Or perhaps, do I want myself to think that way, when I stumble upon this photo some time in the future?

Why do I smile like that for a photograph? If only in a nonverbal sense, am I being truthful or am I lying in that moment? Or is that expression a kind of average value of all the expressions that my face has ever contorted itself into?

As far as facial expressions go, the camera- induced smile is in a league of its own. It is not a grin, or a guffaw, or even a smirk. It is a smile, and is meant to convey polite happiness and measured contentment. Neither exhilaration nor despondency. The camera- induced smile has no context, it has no story leading up to it, and it has no news peg.

A candid admission would be in order here. An expressive face is the last thing most people would associate me with. In one instance, some friends at my former office were so convinced of my utter lack of expressions that they challenged me to make an angry face. I picked up the gauntlet. I drew a mental picture with all the essential constituents of an angry face. Let me see now... Teeth clenched - check. Facial muscles stretched - check. Eyes narrowed - check. Apparently, I still did not look angry. Constipated maybe, but not angry.

Some time after the impromptu group photo session, I looked at photos of my nine- month old niece and I envied her. When I see her, I can tell for sure whether in the moments before the snapshot was taken, something made her happy, or irritated, or curious, or excited. I don't just see a mathematical aggregation of wide eyes and upturned lips and a partially open mouth. I see joy personified. Then I look at myself, and I see that I personify nothing.

A picture speaks a thousand words, you will always be told. How much of it is fact, and how much of it is fiction, you will never know.

Neerad is a first year student of the M.A. in Social Work - Criminology & Justice programme at TISS, Mumbai.