News Alert: FC Exams Cancelled Because of Corporate Lobbying!

This is a piece of satire by first year students who prefer to remain anonymous.
 

Photo: Why is it empty? Must be because of neoliberalism

Yesterday was a black day in history of TISS as it finally became part of the league it was fighting against. The foundation course, taught to TISS junior students, will have no written examinations. Instead a revolutionary new system of evaluation will be in place which will take into account the TWH to grade them (TWH- Total Waking Hours, more on this in next article).

We asked a Delhi University  loafer looking first year student for his comments. "Bhak sala", he said, shooing us away with serious lack of respect for the journalistic profession. What has TISS come to?

In a proverbial sense, this situation is akin to having darkness under the nose of the lightbulb. For the previous 3 quarters of the century, TISS has been fighting against forces of capitalism, oppression and campus promiscuity, but yesterday, it finally gave in. To the first two that is, it still remains serious about fighting healthy sexual relations mischief among students.

It is to be noted that the speculations about lobbying in TISS are not new. Many conspiracy theories have been spawned about the mysterious sightings of suited, dicey looking men and women doing the rounds of TISS (could have been HR guys, but anyway).

Coming to the current scenario, initial reports say that the main hand involved in this policy change was of the Corporate house of Hot Spot and Oasis. Reports suggest that the FC examinations in the TISS have led the students away from the material pursuits of the world leading to a huge loss in the current quarterly reports of Hotspot and the ilk. Many student groups condemned this development in hundreds of posters that have appeared all over the campus. We asked the administration what they thought of this powerful radical and progressive dissent. "Bhak sala", they said and shooed us away too. As you see, TISS is a difficult place for investigative journalism but we promise to keep you updated!